American Girl

She waits another week to fall apart...

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. ~ Thomas Paine

I am deleting this, because I overshared.

posted by: AmericanGirl at 10:43 | link | comments (7) |

Christmas always makes me cry.  Not really especially sad, not tears of joy, just a weird kind of feeling that's hard to explain.  It's just the quiet observations that do it.  Like hearing my niece, who's too big and bad to believe in anything anymore, telling my nephew about the time she heard Santa landing on the roof.  She's so convincing that I almost think she still believes it herself.  Seeing the agony of Christmas Eve for the very young just brings it all back.  It's funny, as an adult you envy them the magic of it all, but to the believers, it's all just a long string of torture.  Waiting for Santa, passing the time playing with old toys when all you can think about is the new stuff that still seems so very far away.


Cherry Chap-stick brings me right back to one particular Christmas, when I woke up at 2:30 to find that Santa had come.   I woke up my brother, who was wise enough to know that waking up the rest of the house at that hour was unacceptable.  So we sat on the floor of his bedroom and put together a "Kiss" puzzle, until we saw the red flashing lights outside.  The neighbor's house was on fire, and we went outside with boots and jackets over our pajamas and watched and thought that there couldn't be any worse horror than a fire on Christmas morning.  The cloud of their sadness hung over us that day.  I got cherry scented Chap-stick in my stocking and now the smell brings me right back.  There was a bottle of perfume too, shaped like a bear, and if I could find that scent, I know that would do it too, and isn't it weird that I would seek out such a thing?  I wonder, and I wish I could ask, if that was the day he decided, really decided, to become a firefighter when he grew up?


Ryan's mom is feeling the searing pain of her first Christmas "alone".  She's not alone, but her husband is gone and I know she feels alone.  We picked her up on Friday  and took her out to a late lunch and tried to make it nice for her, but the truth is we were all feeling it.  Why is Christmas so darn emotional?  On Saturday we went to the firehouse because they had a family party.  They are especially good to mothers and wives and they let Hope "drive" the ladder truck and it was nice.  The boys talked about a big Christmas breakfast, because Ryan was scheduled to work Christmas day.  Blah.  The only thing worse than working on Christmas day is working a job that will keep you away from your family AND call you out again and again to other family's Christmas tragedies.


We spend Christmas Eve with Ryan's family, in his mom's apartment, without his dad for the first time.  It was nice and everyone did their best to ignore that particular elephant.  Not because the black hole deserves to be ignored, but because it's all we can do. 


Then Santa called.  He called Ryan's cell.  Ho Ho Ho.  Honest to goodness, I could hear his booming voice across the room, and he sounded like the real thing.  Santa told Ryan that someone, who wished to remain anonymous, had taken his shift for Christmas day.  As if this amazing person had sensed that more than anything, we needed him this year.  Without him, who would put together the Polly Pocket cruise ship, with it's itty bitty parts and directions with no words and too-small pictures?  Who would get the karaoke machine going with the worst Elvis wanna be version of 'Blue Christmas" ever?  Who would plant, and then later discover the reindeer poop in the back yard, and make a big production out of swearing and scraping off the bottom of his boots after traipsing through it?   Who would give us the unspoken permission we needed to laugh and have fun?

Of course, this wonderful person couldn't stay anonymous forever, because his name is on logs for the day.  How do you thank someone for the best gift ever?

posted by: AmericanGirl at 11:57 | link | comments (6) |

I have no idea what this says,  but I appreciate the randomness of it.  I think it might be a "Happy New Year" wish.  If no one figures it out, let's just make that assumption.  A snail on a scooter?  Sure, why not!


Looks like I'm out of here for the weekend, and then back to the grind on Tuesday.  Boo Hoo.


Merry Christmas everyone. 

posted by: AmericanGirl at 11:37 | link | comments (5) |

Ok, first things first. 

A birthday picture:



And after eating her first Christmas cookie:



Can't you just feel the sugar high?


Last weekend we went to a "Cheesy Christmas Party" thrown by Ryan's brother and his new wife.  The purpose of the party is come dressed in the tackiest, cheesiest Christmas outfit you can find.  It was by far the best Christmas party I've ever attended.  There's nothing quite like an ocean of sequined vests, reindeer sweaters, and holiday print turtlenecks to have you basking in the holiday spirit.  Best of all, there's absolutely no downtime, and no problems breaking the ice.   Every time someone walked in the door it was just  "Good God!  You look HIDEOUS!!  Well done!"  I got our clothes at a thrift store, and spent $20 to dress my entire family, plus my sister in law, plus my mom.  (We're considering going all cheesy, all the time.)  I wish I could post the pictures, because words don't do any justice at all to the horror, but I think they would all kill me.


In other news, I've just received word that my evil ex sister in law's fiance has found someone new and left her.  I suppose there's something to be said about Karma here, and what comes around going around and all that, but...I don't know.  My little Grinch heart must have grown three sizes or something because I feel really sad for her.  First of all, right before Christmas?  That's just sucky.  Second of all, there are kids involved.  Double sucky.  I believe with all my might that anyone who calls off a wedding is making the right decision, but the righter decision would be to not stray in the first place.  I guess when it comes to matters of cheaters and cheatees, I will always side with the cheatee.  Even if it's Anna.

posted by: AmericanGirl at 12:57 | link | comments (8) |

So I'm sitting at my desk  a few Wednesdays ago and the phone rings:

Crazy Receptionist /Nigerian Lottery Winner (NLW) - Oh, Honey?  Ummmmm....Hi.   Hi Honey.  Are you ok?

Me - Yes, except for this very annoying conversation we're having

NLW - Ummmm... (Lowers her voice to a whisper) There's two gentlemen here to see you.  They're um....(lower whisper) the police.

Me - Just send them back.  (Hangs up phone)

Phone rings again

Awesome New Assistant - I'm praying, Mija  (Hangs up phone)

NLW walks in rather stiffly, followed by two serious looking men, one of which is flashing a badge

Me:  Sit down, you assholes.

NLW almost vomits and runs out of my office

Officer - You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Me:  I'll kiss your mother with this mouth!  (Noticing NLW pretending to sort faxes outside my office door so she can eavesdrop)  Like I told you before, Sir, I'm certain no one in THIS office is involved with a Nigerian scam of any sort!

NLW drops the faxes on the nearest desk and RUNS away.  We're evil.  Pure evil, my brothers and I.


The reason for the visit?  Tree lighting, of course.  Can you believe it's been a year?  Hope is ONE!   I sure can't believe it.  After the visit to the tree and the obligatory stay at the Irish Pub, we somehow thought Chinese food would be a good idea.  Bad, bad idea.  I didn't get sick until the following night, which, of course, was Hope's birthday.  My brother got sick about two hours later.  The other brother was mercifully spared.

Let's see, what else is going on?  I had computer troubles and couldn't access Motime for a long time, but they're been resolved now. (Obviously)  I see I don't need to actually be around in order to offend people, so that's good to know.  I have this week off while my office moves to a new building.  Ryan's cousin died rather suddenly.  My mom is waiting on some test results, re-test results, for a tumor marker that her doctors are disagreeing on, but it's taking a long time so I'm rather confident that it's not going to turn out to be a terrible thing.  Hope walks, has molars, and can say Ma Ma, Da Da, hot, doggie, woof, sit, uh oh, up, ball, and ice, which is short for "Nice".  She is so cool.  Now that I'm officially out of what we refer to around here as "The danger zone", I can say with some confidence that come May 2007, she's going to be a big sister!

That's what's new around here. xoxox

posted by: AmericanGirl at 18:24 | link | comments (8) |

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