American Girl

Tuesday, 19 April 2005

If I could be....

The fun never ends. Pooklekufr tagged me with the "If I could be..." meme, which came from Oddybobo (the bully), which was stolen by Ogre from Marla Swoffer, if I'm reading correctly. Or something like that.

If I could be a moonbat, I would start every conversation with something like "Listen, you worthless zionist...." even if I were just talking about the weather. I would make friends will all of the other moonbats, and create a HUGE moonbat posse. With signs. And T-shirts. We'd spend all of our time complaining about pretty much everything. Then, I would throw a HUGE moonbat ball, and invite all of my moonbat friends to come, and bring all of their moonbat friends. And when all of the moonbats of the world were gathered in one room, I would blow it up. BLAMO! Nah, just kidding. But if I were a moonbat, I might not be. Oh, and naturally, I'd stalk Jheka.

If I could be a psychologist, I would be a blog psychologist. Because no offense, but man, some of these people really need one. I would realize that some people are just better at expressing themselves through the written word, and I would make "blog calls", read their troubles, and comment my solutions. I would charge double for people who leave "Goodbye, cruel world" posts, and triple if they don't post again for two weeks after, but check their blogs for comments several, and I mean several times a day. I would be the no-nonsense bloggy psychologist. I think that I would be the most popular blogger on the net.

If I could be a librarian, I would read and know every single book in the library. This would be possible, because I would run a small, local library. Independently owned and operated. Like the small video store in Ryan's old neighborhood. You walk in, and the guy behind the counter could recommend a movie for you, and he's always right on. Such would be my library. You could walk in and say "I feel like reading something that will make me jump at all the scary parts, and sleep with the lights on" and I'd have the perfect book for you. It would be like "Championship Vinyl" was to record stores. (You have seen "High Fidelity", haven't you??) My staff and I would know our products so well, that when there were no customers around, we'd poll eachother on books. (Name the top five Dean Koontz plots that are explained by Aliens...)

If I could be a lawyer, I would be the suckiest lawyer ever. Because I can never, ever make up my mind. I think I'm the only person in the world who reads a debate and says to herself "Excellent point, he's exactly right....no wait, that's also an excellent point, HE must be right...." Let's face it, I'm a flip flopper, and anyone who's been blogging with me for any length of time knows this. I pity the fool who has me for a lawyer. I really do.

If I could be a writer, I would write the things that I think about when I'm thinking my darkest, saddest thoughts, and I would teach the world empathy.

The Rules: (Copied shamelessly!) Immediately following there is a list of 20 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Send a trackback to Ogre's post, because he's keeping track of his little sin against nature.

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be the oddybobo's man servant. . .
If I could be a moonbat...
If I could be a failed actor gone political

Have fun!

And an update, I've tagged Jheka, Urthshu, and Madam Butterfly.

posted by: AmericanGirl at 21:12 | link | comments (5) |

Comments:

#1 19 April 2005 - 21:58

Pooklefuhr sounds like what a LSD-crazed nazi on Indiana Jones would say...

Fortunately, you don't need trackbacks of your own to send a trackback (I added them to my site, btw). You can use the form here: http://www.aylwardfamily.com/content/tbping.asp

Just find the person's trackback url (different than the actual post), plug it all in and send it.

Oddybobo is a sweet gun-toting Southern mama, who'd pray for your baby and shoot a trespasser at the same time.