American Girl

She waits another week to fall apart...

About me

American girls are weather and noise....

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. ~ Thomas Paine

So Ryan and I were driving home from his very last day of work this morning when I looked at the clock and said "Do you realize that by this time tomorrow, we're going to be PARENTS!"  How crazy is that?  I mean...they'll just let anyone have a kid, won't they?  Doesn't it seem like there should be a very long and extensive application process?  Lots and lots of red tape?  I suppose that technically you could call it a nine month waiting period, but not really, because I happen to think that the ride starts the moment you see two lines on the stick and start frantically wondering about all the unhealthy things you may have done in the past two weeks.  Argh!  Green Beer!  (Sorry AB!)

I literally pulled an all nighter.  I couldn't sleep if I wanted to.  In fact, I'm having a hard time just sitting here and writing this, because every few minutes I just need to get up and pace the floor a little.  Nervous energy.  Ten thousand thoughts and hopes and fears.  Ten thousand of each.  My doctor was wise enough to give me a nice prescription sleeping pill for tonight.  Sheesh, I wonder if I'll need it?  I can tell Ryan didn't sleep either, because he came home and crashed pretty quickly.  But first we stopped for breakfast, and the person who seated us asked when the baby was due, and I was able to say "Tomorrow morning".  This makes people look at us like we're crazy.  Why is that?  Should we stay close to home, boiling water or something? 

It does feel like we should be doing something spectacular on this, our last day as "just" a couple.  But it feels right to just be doing normal things.  Him taking a nap to recover from a 24 hour shift, me sitting here typing my nonsense to my Motime friends.  We'll probably go out to lunch.  We'll go to Best Buy and buy a new camera.  Heck, we'll probably even go out to dinner.  My kitchen is so immaculate, I don't want anyone cooking in it.  And besides, we can.  We can come and go as we please, with little thought or planning.  Oh boy.  Am I going to miss these deliciously selfish days too much?  We have thoroughly enjoyed them, and I guess that's something.

You're all going to poo-poo this, but it needs to be said.  I'm terrified that I'm going to die on the operating room table.  (I know.  I KNOW!!)  There's absolutely no reason to think that my surgery will be anything but routine, and I know thousands of women give birth, many in less than ideal conditions, every day.  You don't have to tell  me any of that, I'm not looking for reassurance.  I just don't like to leave things unsaid.  So know this, Motime friends.  You're all so special to me.  You've seen me through some of my lowest lows, you've cheered me through some of my highest highs, and you've become an important part of my day to day life, which was a completely unexpected treasure that I stumbled upon one day.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

posted by: AmericanGirl at 10:35 | link | comments (22) |

Comments:

#1  29 November 2005 - 11:41

 

Awww...this is the sweetest post I've ever read. EVER. You're making me cry.

It's perfectly natural to be afraid, and the fact that you can say it says that you're fine.

And you also made me smile. When my water broke with baby number three, we called the hospital and then went to pay bills, run errands, and visit my sis-in-law on the way to the hospital. I knew from previous experience that once I arrived at the hospital, labor would stop and they would have to give me that nasty drug to start it. (and I was right of course).

When we arrived, they didn't have us on their list, and, after a quick scramble, they said, "Are you the couple that disappeared?"

We still laugh about the perfect morning we had when I was in labor with the most practical child I ever had.

Have a wonderful, mundane last-day-as-a-childless-couple.

xoxoxoxo

InMyLife

#2  29 November 2005 - 12:02

 

I know you don't need reassurance, but I don't like to leave things unsaid...

It will be okay.

Can't wait to hear all about AB and the big day. And I hope you get some rest.

maybeknott

#3  29 November 2005 - 12:05

 

There is a definite thought in the back of your mind when you're going into surgery, even if it's a minor surgery. But everything will go well and you'll have little AB peeing and pooping on everything and everybody. :-)

greeneyes

#4  29 November 2005 - 12:07

 

T,

I am so excited today that all I can think about is the birth.

Your ability to just state what everybody fears is what makes your very excellent writing so damn profound. You do it with not a trace of the treacly. You are so damn present, and I've never met you beyond the screen.

I hope we all do someday meet in some tropical clime, AB running between our legs, toasting to life and love and happiness and BIRTH and the daily re-birth that we witness as we go about our chores.

Much love to you and Ryan. Take that pill, and tomorrow, early Christmas honeybabe!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who's excited? Me?

xoxo
Love, S

Leigh

#5  29 November 2005 - 12:26

 

I'm so excited. I'm not even an aunt of AB, more like a distant older second cousin that she only sees at Christmas, but I am excited because I feel like a great couple with a strong marriage and a definite realistic attitude towards life and love are bringing a child into the world. You will be great parents, both of you, and definitely of the caliber that would get a baby-making license if we ever enacted such strict standards on parenting. Good luck...and enjoy your last womderful day together. You guys have what it takes and are an inspiration to all of us, not just your to-be sis-in-law!

Cannonball14

#6  29 November 2005 - 13:27

 

Wow! I don't remember being this emotional when my own son was born!! Enjoy today.. and tomorrow, you'll have a whole new definition for love. Well, maybe not tomorrow, but in a month or so! hehe Good luck, best wishes, hugs!!

ugapeach04

#7  29 November 2005 - 13:38

 

Okay, what time are you guys going in tomorrow? This way when I look at the clock I'll be able to say "Oh, I bet she's just going in right now" or "I bet AB is out and screaming now" or some such exclamation. :-)

I wonder how many people will be thinking about you guys tomorrow morning...hundreds? No stage fright!

greeneyes

#8  29 November 2005 - 13:46

 

good luck. you will be fine and yor baby will be beautiful. I am so excited for you and DH and I wish you all the best,

kandy

#9  29 November 2005 - 15:36

 

i'm too filled with nervous excitement and emotion to say anything uncle-ish. to say anything actually! love and peace to you all.

howard

#10  29 November 2005 - 17:25

 

Hurry up AB!

rustymadgal

#11  29 November 2005 - 17:54

 

I sure hope that she instructed hubby on posting pics and details, details, details!!!

Aheadau

#12  29 November 2005 - 17:54

 

wow it seems i've been reading your blog forever and you've always been pregnant. your finally gonna be a mummy. ahh! congrats!!

MalynLaReina

#13  29 November 2005 - 19:32

 

You can do it!

ChefNeal

#14  29 November 2005 - 19:48

 

I know I'll be thinking about you! Can Ryan post something to let us know? Pleaseeeeee. *hugs* See you soon, Ms. Mommy.

alohalani

#15  29 November 2005 - 20:31

 

Best wishes. : )

giuli

#16  29 November 2005 - 23:21

 

American baby is so lucky. You'll do just great, new mommy! I hope you'll have time to come visit us. And show us lots of little baby pics :)

nobleknightil

#17  30 November 2005 - 06:58

 

It's tomorrow. I know you came through the surgery just FINE! I did, and it was nice to have the extra days in the hospital to heal. Thank goodness you have your Ryan to help you out as my ex was useless and when I returned home my kitchen was less than spotless.

I have been reading your posts with little comment because you have such a wonderful support system here among the Motimers but rest assured I have been following the baby journal since early on. I can't believe the big day is here! As it is early morning on the east coast, I suppose you are still awaiting surgery so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a successful and smooth birth. As I recall, I was awake for all of my C-section, and it was fascinating and exciting. Nothing to worry about. Know you are in capable hands. By the time you read this, you'll have a little pink squirming bundle of American Baby!! Congrats, dear!

FLPatty

#18  30 November 2005 - 10:16

 

11:15 EST. Just checking...xoxox

Leigh

#19  30 November 2005 - 10:35

 

#1 InMyLife:

Actually, the sweetest post I've ever read is right

Jheka

#20  30 November 2005 - 10:37

 

Ack! HTML mess-up by yours truly.

Anyway, the sweetest post:

right here ... it actually brought a tear to my eye ... and yeah, IML, I know that you've seen it already ... but for those of you who haven't, check it out.

Jheka

#21  30 November 2005 - 11:29

 

By this time you are, no doubt, a mother and off to a fine start. Congratulations!

loosestring

#22  30 November 2005 - 21:07

 

I am so proud of you, AG!!! Thank you for sharing this with us!! *hugs*

Ladyinthemoon

Comments: